Co-Parenting Without Losing Your Mind

Girl, I Know He Gets on Your Nerves, But Let’s Talk About the Kids

Listen, I know that man probably works your last nerve. He might be annoying, unreliable, or just downright infuriating. But here’s the thing, sis—you can’t keep him away from the kids just because he makes you want to scream into a pillow.

As strong, independent women (who honestly do way too much already), we take pride in handling life’s chaos like the superheroes we are. And let’s be real—people love to hype us up for doing it all… except when they don’t. 🙃 But here’s the kicker: Loving our kids has to be bigger than hating their father.

I know, I know—that’s a hard pill to swallow. But our babies’ mental well-being is on the line. And making sure they have a solid relationship with their dad (when he’s willing to be involved) isn’t about him—it’s about them.

Modern Families Ain’t What They Used to Be

Gone are the days when every family looked like a 1950s sitcom. These days, families come in all shapes and sizes, and single motherhood is way more common. And let’s be honest—moms do the heavy lifting. We’re out here juggling work, bills, homework, snack time, and bedtime meltdowns like we’re training for the Olympics.

And what do we get in return?
People telling us we need to “let the father be involved.” Sir, where was that energy when I was up at 3 AM with a teething baby? 😩

That said, if he actually wants to be involved, we have to put our feelings aside and encourage it. Studies show that kids with active dads do better socially, emotionally, and even academically. Basically, even when we’re side-eyeing the situation, they need him just like they need us.

Why Dads Actually Matter (Even If You Think He’s Useless)

Look, I know it’s tempting to write him off completely—especially if he’s been flaky or just bare minimum-ing his way through fatherhood. But when dads are involved, kids win.

💡 Less Drama, More Stability – A present dad helps kids feel secure. (And maybe, just maybe, they won’t grow up needing 47 therapy sessions just to unpack their childhood.)
🧠 Better Behavior – Active fathers help kids develop self-discipline and emotional intelligence.
📚 Higher Success Rates – Kids with engaged dads tend to do better in school. Who knew?

Bottom line? If he’s stepping up, let him. The goal isn’t for him to win Father of the Year—it’s for your child to have every possible advantage in life.

Respecting Him (Even If You Think He Deserves Nothing But Side-Eye)

Now, let’s be clear—acknowledging the importance of a father does not mean pretending he’s perfect. I see you, you’re handling way more than your fair share, and it’s frustrating.

But here’s the thing: Bitterness blocks blessings. (I said what I said.)

If he wants to be present, don’t let your feelings get in the way. That’s not about letting him off the hook—it’s about not letting resentment turn into punishment for the kids. We don’t want them growing up thinking love is conditional, or that their parents can’t stand each other. That kind of energy follows them into their own relationships later on.

We can set boundaries, protect our peace, and still let our kids have their dad in their lives. It’s about balance, not self-sacrifice.

How to Move Past the “I Can’t Stand Him” Phase

I get it. Sometimes, co-parenting feels like you’re on a reality show that never gets canceled. But for the sake of our babies, we have to find a way to make it work.

Here’s how we do it:

✅ Focus on the Kids, Not the Pettiness – Keep your eyes on the prize: their happiness.
✅ Set Clear Boundaries – We’re co-parenting, not besties. Let’s keep communication cordial and kid-focused.
✅ Get a Support System – Whether it’s therapy, girlfriends, or a group chat where you safely roast him, lean on your people.
✅ Take Care of YOU – Co-parenting is exhausting. Prioritize your peace, your self-care, and your sanity.

At the end of the day, it’s not about him—it’s about them. And when we do what’s best for our babies, we create less stress, more love, and healthier futures.

Love & Light, 💕

The Self-Love Goddess Chic